What you’re about to learn today is one of the big reasons couples in real crisis are turning their relationships around with me.
These couples have stopped their almost certain divorce through learning what you are about to read…
These couples are learning that if they want more out of their relationship then they must become ‘more’ before they make a final decision to leave the marriage. Couples who experience problems have usually become ‘less’ of who they really are in the marriage. These people are totally unaware that become less of who they really are actually creates significant personal pain for themselves.
So this means many individuals feel pain in their marriage, but they are attaching their pain to the wrong thing.
So what does becoming ‘more’ actually mean?
Becoming ‘more’ actually means understanding and reconnecting both individuals to their true self. Nearly all couples is crisis will have lost a sense of who they are in their relationship and they will be suffering.
Many people do not understand themselves and why they do what they do. These bright and intelligent people are in pain and suffering in their relationships, many blaming the other person for how they feel.
When you help someone get to the truth within themselves only then can they effectively evaluate their life and their relationship from that new stand point.
Please note: The relationship will always feel wrong if the person is disconnected from who they really are.
This new stand point is the goal for those couples who work with me.
They will have been on a mission with me to really understand themselves so they can connect to their authentic-self so they can really see the truth in their relationship.
This means they are living an identity that connects them to their own personal happiness which is foundational in any relationship.
This is why couples who have been in severe crisis struggle to understand why they were so troubled because ‘now’ they feel safe to be their true identity with each other and it feels so easy.
One gentleman asked me, why did this happen to me, why did I become so controlling? The simple answer was he was afraid, but he was destroying his relationship in his quest to feel safe.
Another lady had lived most of her married life disconnected from who she really was and she wasn’t aware. Over years she started to connect to her true herself in safe areas such as children, work and friends.
She felt most disconnected from herself with her husband which is why she wanted to leave him. When her and the husband started to learn how they could become ‘more’ of who they really are, their connection with themselves and each other started to grow.
When she learnt that she was emotionally safe with her husband then she felt she wanted contribute to him.
As she contributed she become more of who she really was. She was a loving, caring, kind person and in her marriage she had lost that identity. The more she gave of who she really was the happier she became.
He of course was doing the same and feeling happier as he looked after her.
Fears in relationships distort the couples experience to the point where the couple struggle to exist together. They both end up protecting themselves from each other. So the marriage and their love for each other dies. Both people become less of who they are with each other and so they assume the marriage is dead, or they are incompatible.
The truth is they are incompatible all the time they are disconnected from who they really are.
The personal development part of my work with couples is critical to help individuals safely find their feet through really understanding themselves how they work why they do what they do and why.
These individuals learn how to create the feelings they want and how to communicate to their partner what really is most important to them.
This process builds confidence and an inner strength that puts them in a position to help their partner and bring a much needed ‘kindness’ to their marriage.
If you want to learn more please make contact today.
