What do you do when your partner has a problem that seems oddly unsolvable?
When I’m on a call interviewing couples to see if an assessment session is suitable for them, I can hear when one person has become a problem partner.
This is when one person develops a problem that they make unsolvable even with the help of professionals.
Problem partners can create physical or emotional problems to protect themselves from dealing with essential relationship challenges.
Some people might create depression, others may develop problems such as stress, anxiety others will develop other problems such as ongoing headaches, concentration problems or hearing issues.
Essentially they use whatever works.
Others may develop what seems like odd behaviours, such as a lack of desire to participate in day-to-day life.
This creates a distraction that takes the couples focus away from engaging in any challenges or conversations that may come up.
I have seen children use distraction for a different reason.
Children can become problem children to distract parents at war away from their own problems.
This means the parents will have to shift focus from their problems to the child’s challenge, the child’s aim is to protect their parents relationship.
Partners who create problems for the purpose of distraction must have their pattern broken as this kind of pattern is unhealthy for the relationship.