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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Relationship Health Check Test

How healthy is your relationship really? Below is a quick test you can try with your partner.

We live in a society of quick fixes, we are conditioned to be more focused on cures rather than prevention and this focus is causing us all problems.

So in a quest to help you avoid or deal with relationship trauma here are some thoughts you can take on-board, or throw to one side until it becomes important?

You can see this lack of focus on prevention is in my sessions, the average client is aged 40-50 and have arrived with significant marriage trauma. They have usually spent years practicing how to destroy their relationship without knowing and they have become really good at it.

Ironically they had felt the relationship had been wrong years before, but hoped it would go away (If this is you please act now).

Rarely do I get clients in their 20s (for those that do come I applaud you) and the feedback I do get is, looking at their relationships before they have problems is boring and they just want to have fun.

Who can blame them.

I do understand totally, but what these young minds are heading for as I was, is potentially painful and very expensive, but I do remember being 20 and I never listened either.

So this post is for all ages and for those that think it’s boring, out of all the things to brush under the carpet this really isn’t one of them, I promise!

Don’t believe me? These are normal situations I see everyday.

  • Don’t end the man that walks into my session with his wife holding the divorce papers she served him at the weekend, about to lose his kids, half his income and have no idea they were in this much trouble.
  • Don’t be the woman doubled up in pain because her husband had shut down and walked out on her because she was impossible to please.
  • Don’t be the couple that has to break up because they can’t find away to live together even though they love each other and their children.
  • Don’t be the couple that do stay together, but live without passion and intimacy.

You see couples that are in trouble share very similar traits and we can learn from them.

  1. They didn’t plan their future together in enough detail. Their plans stopped at kids and life became boring.
  2. They had no real idea how to communicate their needs so their partner had to guess and usually got it wrong so gave up.
  3. They didn’t understand how to grow closer through conflict and so resentments stacked.
  4. They didn’t realise how different men and women are and couldn’t work out why they were having trouble communicating so assumed they were incompatible..
  5. They didn’t understand what had to happen for the passion to stay in the relationship and had lost their connection now they are more friends than lovers.
  6. They didn’t understand the importance of being honest with each other and respecting each others feelings no matter what. So they had to change themselves to cope with the relationship and now they feel wrong – detached numb and looking for a way out.

Quick Relationship Health Check Questions

Score each question out of 10 points.

10 points equals this is happening and you’re really happy.
0 points equals this is not happening and not happy at all.

  1. Do you and your partner have regular conversations about where you are heading together? Remember without growth a relationship is dying.
  2. Do you feel you understand how to meet your partners critical needs?
  3. Does your partner really understand how to meet your critical needs?
  4. Do you grow closer though conflict, or are you stacking resentments.
  5. Do you think your partner really wants to understand you?
  6. Are you happy with your sex life?
  7. Are you allowed to be all of who you are and you are loved and accepted?
  8. Do you communicate well?

What did you score? The goal is to get 56 points or higher out of 80

Final question:

  • How should your relationship be today?
    and how is it really?

When there is a gap between these two thoughts the person will usually experience emotional discomfort.

Do this with your partner and find out what how they score your relationship.

Remember you can either become a team working together towards a future you both desire, or you can be at war and heading for trouble.

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"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

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Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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