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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Save A Failing Relationship

How to save a failing relationship fast. The first thing to notice is that whatever you are doing is clearly not working. Many people in relationships tend to repeat the same patterns hoping for a different reaction, but always get the same ones.

  • So bright intelligent people seem to lose their ability to learn, when they need it most.

For example:

A woman may complain, at her husband over and over again. Her constant complaining never seems to work. She has not learnt that this does not work. On occasions she can see that she has got him to do what she has asked, BUT he has done it from a place of resentment and deep inside her she knows this.

A man may retreat over and over again when he discovers a situation he does not like in his relationship. He may go silent, have a drink, go out. He practices this every time and every time he does this his wife becomes more crosser with him and so she resents him, deep inside him he knows this.

Punishment creates resentment and this is a pathway
to a relationship break-up.

Both men and women in these kind of situations feel stuck and so rather than searching for alternative behaviours they repeat what never works over and over in the hope that one day it will work.

Does punishment really create more love?

Socially we are conditioned that to get someone to change their behaviour we must punish them. This conditioning or brainwashing helps couples focus on punishment as a vehicle for change.

This is an illusion because whatever you put into a situation is usually what you get out. So if you put anger into a situation the usual reaction is you will be met with anger. Directly behind anger is fear so if your partner is shouting, know as a fact they are scared.

If couples could learn that love is the most powerful component for change in our partners then their behaviours would change and their relationship would transform. If couples could wake-up to what their partners are really saying then they would never punish them ever again.

What is the real message?

The wife who screams at frustration at her husband is actually communicating her fears that there might be something wrong with the relationship and she is scared. If the man knew this would he really run and ignore her, or would he love and support her? A real man would help her feel safe again.

The man who runs away is so frustrated and scared that he cannot fix this relationship, he cannot make her happy, so he can’t be good enough for her. If she knew his silence and running was a fear of losing her, do you think she would continue to help him feel less of a man by emotionally beating him up.

  • Fear of losing the one you love and the feelings that you are not enough actually serve to help relationships create the one thing the couple fears most. Break-up, Separation, Divorce and proof that for this relationship you were not enough!

Relationships can be saved really fast once the couple understand how to understand the messages their partner is really giving them.

  • Do you need help with this? If so don’t hesitate contact me today!
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Marriage at Risk from Destructive Triggers”
  • “The Root Cause Revolution”
  • “Top 1% Marriages do Something Different…”
  • “I had to stop her – she was killing the marriage she wanted to keep!”
  • “The Biggest Relationship Red Flag”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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