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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The mirror of destruction pattern

Many couples are suffering from a mirroring pattern that disables their ability to grow together.

The mirroring pattern happens when one person becomes upset or angry for some reason and then the mirroring pattern is triggered in the other person.

Their partner then becomes upset or angry at them, for being upset and so they never get to deal with the original issue.

This problem means either the couple will endlessly cycle through the what about what you did to me type of conversation, which is guaranteed to kill their connection.

Or to avoid this destructive pattern…

…one person will eventually stop being honest about their feelings because there is no point and this can eventually lead to resentment and emotional detachment.

Either way the pattern does not work.

In relationships upset is going to happen and will be part of a couple’s connection like it or not, but if a person cannot have an upset independently and that upset healed, that couple will be in an unhealthy dynamic.

This pattern must be broken for the relationship to ever grow.

Mirroring pattern is about control

This mirroring pattern is about the mirrored person trying to control their partner’s upset, they can become being defensive, or they will use force through anger and aggression to stop their partner from being upset, this is guaranteed to create more distance.

Some through their own resentment will feel justified because of their own past challenges either from the relationship or past problems, for some pattern from childhood can be the cause.

Whatever the cause of the pattern it must stop or the couples connection will not grow as it needs to.

Please note: If your upset does not end in more security, more love, and more connection then the pattern you are in is corrosive.

Are you in this kind of pattern?

Would you like help to reconfigure this mirrored pattern?

Category iconDestructive Patterns,  Marriage Coaching

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

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Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post
  • Never Ignore Your Partner’s Cry for Help – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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