It’s natural for a person to look for meaning in life events, but the desire for meaning can create catastrophic misunderstandings.
How does a person know the meaning they are putting on a situation is the right one?
When a human brain is thinking, all it can think about is what it knows so far, so it is limited.
It cannot think about what it isn’t aware of unfortunately people with limited thinking are still trying to put meanings to situations when they only have part of the story.
They call this limited thinking facts.
So this means a person can make their own meanings fit the limitations of what they know in any given situation.
The problems for couples in this situation are they can set expectations of how their partner should be and when their partner doesn’t perform the way they want they put a meaning to it.
They don’t care about me, I’m not important, they only care about themselves, they behave this way because they went to boarding school, or because they have parents with victorian values.
I have heard it all.
How about the person who gave love to their partner unaware that the love they gave wasn’t the love the person needed, yet they concluded their partner is selfish and unappreciative.
Meanings can lead people to conclusions and in so many cases they end up with the wrong conclusions.
Many think you have to “give love to get love”, if you believe this destructive pattern what meaning do you put to not getting love after you gave it?
You cannot trade love because that isn’t loving.
Meanings are powerful and for many are destructive.
One of my biggest jobs is correcting ineffective thinking that leads people to destructive thinking.
Just because it’s all a person knows it doesn’t meant that’s all there is to know.
Limited knowledge leads to limited meanings and getting this wrong creates suffering.
Remember just because you think it, it doesn’t make the thought true.
How a person thinks is what shapes their life, this is why the most successful people on the planet are constantly learning and growing.
The more they learn the more they see how much they don’t know.
The people that suffer the most are the ones that stopped their learning and their curiousity.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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