I know first-hand how hard getting relationships wrong is on a person’s emotional health. It’s one of the reasons I do this.
I remember feeling so desperate when I was very lost in my younger years. I remember going to sleep, hoping I wouldn’t wake up.
A broken relationship can help people feel very depressed, lost, anxious, and certainly stressed.
We can lose connection with who we are. This is a real problem.
When we don’t know what to do, this will cause us pain and eventually suffering if it’s not corrected.
I hear people every day who are suffering and have been for years.
Many admit they would have left if it wasn’t for the children.
Some stay because, economically, it makes more sense.
Others simply don’t know which way to turn, so are stuck.
From my position of helping people understand their situation, the number one mission is to gain clarity.
The clarity they need is the confidence to know which path to follow that will benefit everyone.
So my clients start with a question:
With the right knowledge, what are we really capable of achieving?
You see, many people are suffering because their lack of knowledge is making matters worse.
Other people are simply the wrong fit.
But knowing which one you are in will save you from many years of suffering.
What far too many do is misdiagnose the relationship problems.
One gentleman last year was very upset at his wife for drinking too much at home.
As we worked together, we discovered she drank because their connection wasn’t working, and the drink blocked that pain.
As the connection improved, so her need to drink stopped.
If we had just stopped her drinking and not dealt with their connection problems, she would only find another way to escape.
Another gentleman discovered his wife had become very cold towards him. The way he was showing up was disconnecting her from being herself, so she disconnected from him.
He saw her as the problem because he didn’t understand her emotional needs.
I have had women who were in the process of losing their husbands because the husbands had no way to be successful with her.
A husband who can’t fix the problems tends to give up, so they either disconnect/stonewall or leave.
She didn’t know her job was to help him be successful with her.
So someone in the marriage has to wake up and discover the truth.
Here are a few patterns that will stress any relationship
Coercion
Judgements
Blame
Guilt
Withdrawal
Shame
Nagging
Control
Pleasing
Criticism
Manipulation
These emotional patterns above can lead couples into corrosive and toxic patterns that only tell the truth of the distortion, not what’s possible.
The key is to stop doing what doesn’t work and start doing what does work.
This way, you find out if the problem you have is due to a lack of knowledge or if you are simply the wrong fit.
My job isn’t to fix couples; it’s to help them discover the level of connection they can create and decide if that makes sense to them both.
Now two intelligent people can see the right path for them.
I have both individuals and couples in my programs looking for their truth.
Maybe now is the time for you to end the suffering find yours?
