When she decided to leave him he thought it was over, they were a married couple in their early 40’s with a young child.
He discovered that when she left she had started to date other men, he was furious and upset.
He told me there is no point in trying to save this situation.
So I told him if this women is not worth fighting for then she was right to leave you!
This angered him into action.
We looked over his past behaviours and looked at what was likely to be causing the most significant problems.
We then worked on his confidence so his focus wasn’t on the other men as this energy would have collapsed his mission.
You see if he felt these other men were better for her than him, then if he loved her he should let her go to them.
He knew he was the right man for her.
So it was time to step-up and man-up!
We focused on helping him show her who he really was.
You see when you make a change in someone that change must make them more of who they really are.
Plus people must never change to get someone back, they must change because they can see the old them was not them and the changes will help them to feel better in themselves.
This way the changes will last.
With the right foundation of changes, the person is then ready to learn how to stay connected to themselves whilst they support others.
They had a young child and so they still had weekly contact.
She knew he knew about the other men.
He never mentioned them at all when they met up all he did was focus on making sure they were both okay.
Over a series of weeks she could feel a genuine change in him.
He had stopped being weak, defensive and critical and a strength was showing through.
She felt warmth and power.
She felt for the first time in years she was the centre of his world and he had become the man she thought she’d married.
You see the change in energy in one person in certain cases has the power to change their partners feeling and emotions.
His wife started to connect to herself differently when he was around and she liked what she felt.
This brought his wife to me so she could learn what had happened.
She was naturally skeptical about the changes he had made, but felt good about them at the same time.
She was confused.
What looked like the end was actually a wake-up call for a couple who were just lost.
Their relationship wasn’t the problem, they both didn’t understand how to keep it alive he became weak and she became numb.
I asked he why she left and dated other men so quickly.
She told me in her marriage she didn’t feel he cared and she didn’t feel desired by him and was worried she was undesirable.
This man could have lost her and could have spent years bring the wrong energy to women.
This would have been a painful life for him.
In fact anyone who doesn’t know how to bring them best of themselves to a relationship could struggle as their partner ends up building the wrong picture of who they are.