• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • FAQs
  • Success Stories
  • About
  • Appointments
  • Blog

“Who has POWER over you”?

I remember my first ever meeting with a life coach, he asked me a question “who had my power”?

It was a great question that over the years has gathered even more meaning.

You see whilst every person has access to emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness to name a few.

Given a choice why would we chose to experience painful emotions when there are so many pleasurable ones to experience?

Why would anyone hand their power to another person to make them feel these painful types of emotions?

Shouldn’t our emotions be our own choice of what to we want to create and experience?

Only a small percentage of people are aware this is even possible and so they live painful reactive lives.

This is the challenge that so many people face because they live in such an out of control reactive emotional states themselves that other people end up being the director of what they feel.

This will lead that person to suffer.

If other people were actually in charge of how we feel we would experience a profound loss of freedom, sadly this is exactly what is happening almost everywhere.

This is why some people who are in constant relationship problems have a profound need for freedom, they don’t know how to have that freedom whilst being with their partner so they separate or divorce to achieve it.

People will say, “You made me feel”! “You upset me”! This concept is not possible, others can influence or trigger us, but after that, the creation of any feelings is all your own creation.

So is it possible that I have to leave you because I don’t like what I’m doing to myself when I’m with you? Yes, many people do this by misunderstanding their partners’ emotions and intentions.

They are so out of control of themselves and how they translate their world they can’t bear themselves at times.

So instead of taking back the power of choice when triggered, they try to remove the possibility of being triggered and now their world is getting smaller and they can end up alone.

So the important message for today is to take your power back and do not allow the actions and emotions of others to create the emotions in you that you don’t want?

The right approach is to choose the emotions you want to experience that will gain you the best version of you in any situation.

Just because the world goes crazy around you it doesn’t mean you have to emotionally join in and inflict their pain on you.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care, what it means is when two people have lost control who is driving them to safety?

My advice is to not get on the out of control rollover coaster of other peoples issues or problems, that way you are emotionally in the best place to design the outcomes you would like for yourself and for them.

This could be your chance to free those around you from their out of control emotions.

I know many will now say “HOW”?

The answer is in understanding the mechanics of how you work as a human and developing a more effective relationship with yourself first.

It’s why much of my couples work starts with the individuals first.

If your relationship with yourself is broken, your relationship with others will always be a distortion and painful experience and you may need to control them so you feel happy.

Please know the process of taking your power back is linked to giving those you love their power back too.

You must free those around you in the process of freeing yourself.

Love and passion are energies that must be free or they will die so it’s up to you to chose your path now you know.

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Personal Development

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post
  • Committing to Personal Integrity – Mini Post
  • Men are afraid – Mini Post
  • Are you in a trading relationship? – Mini post
  • Communicating with MEN – Mini Post
  • From Stephen Hedger to you…
  • “Divorce won’t solve this…” – Mini Post
  • “He will remember it all forever!” – Mini Post
  • “She never knew this was her job!” – Mini post
  • Leadership Skills for Relationships – Mini Post
  • What makes a good partner? – Mini post
  • “Do you have good family values?” – Mini Post
  • “Which man should she choose?” – Mini post
  • “Did you enjoy yourself?” – Mini Post
  • The connection that kills passion – Mini post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Discussion
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Lost Attraction
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Stuck
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

 

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2023 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top