Todays post is not just a warning to men it’s a message to men and women to beware of what’s happening in their own relationships without them knowing.
To be clear both people are 100% responsible for protecting their relationship.
Statistics are clearly showing that over 70% of women are filing for divorce and there are really good reasons for this.
This trend is actually very easy to understand once you know the significant differences between men and women.
The way men work is they like to get rid of their own problems very quickly. They can do this because they are less emotionally connected to their problems.
Women don’t work this way and their problems can have a bigger emotional affect on them.
When a man tries to solve a females problems using his own strategy of dismissing it, or shutting it down, instead of feeling better she actually feels worse.
In this moment she feels he doesn’t care about her and so she rejects him to protect herself. Men at this point are confused, he feels he has tried to help her and now she’s just being difficult or negative.
This is just one of the many differences that help to disconnect male and females.
As the couple struggle to get through to each other emotionally he is focusing his energy into where he can be successful and have fun.
She on the other hand is filling up with resentments and is trying multiple ways to connect with him usually without success.
He hopes the problems will pass, she hopes he will wake up to the pain she is in, but he never does. She feels so much pain at his lack of care she disconnects to protect herself and this is a disaster for the relationship.
If this continues it is only a matter of time before she makes a decision that’s life changing. One day she confesses she has fallen out of love with him, she may have met someone that does understand her, or she just longs for the days of freedom on her own.
For him to avert a family disaster he must firstly appreciate the way she experiences the world is different to him. Then he must learn what she is feeling and be there for her in the way she needs.
She must also appreciate that he experiences the world totally differently to her and so his desire to shut her problems down is natural to him because it’s what he does with his own problems.
If a man can’t solve a problem generally he will shut it down.
This trend could be averted if the couple had set their expectation to how their partner really works and learnt more about what’s really important to each other.
But many people assumes everyone sees the world the same as them and so they wrongly judge each other based on how they work. The results are expensive both emotionally and financially.
Imagine the cost of meeting someone, shutting a relationship down and meeting someone new with a high risk of repeating the same problems.
I hope todays post has sparked your thoughts to learn before you act. If you would like to go deeper and really get to understand your relationship please make it a priority it could save you a fortune and years of emotional pain.
Plus if you learn how to connect in a way which works for you both, you can share this knowledge with your children so they can have secure loving relationships in their future.
