Today is a short story about how the sexes communicate very differently and how the disconnect can cause upset that can grow out of control.
I’m using this true story of a family to show you that the disconnect between men and women is inbuilt as this little girl displays this pattern beautifully.
The message is subtle, but getting it wrong can bring a relationship to its knees so it’s critical to understand.
It starts with a family sat having dinner together.
The mother and the father are due to attend a conference call straight after dinner.
The mother asks the children (boy is 14 and his sister is 11) if they would mind clearing the table and start packing the dishwasher as they will have to go straight on this call.
The children agreed to help.
The parents were sat waiting for the conference call to start, but the father became aware of clattering in the kitchen at the same time as his son was upstairs on FaceTime to his friends.
Instantly upset the father called his son down to explain himself.
“Why are you not helping your sister as you agreed” the father barked.
The son said pointing at his sister said “She told me she didn’t need me!”
The father turned to his daughter and calmly said, is this true? Did you tell him you didn’t need him?
Daughter swinging her shoulders awkwardly back and forth sheepishly replied…
“Well, yes and no…”
“What do you mean yes and no?” enquired the father.
She then became still looked her father straight in the eyes and confidently said “I did tell him I didn’t need him, but I didn’t think he’d go!”
“Women!!!” shouted the son in frustration as he walked off not sure if he was in trouble or not.
“I did tell him I didn’t need him, but I didn’t think he’d go!”
This true story of indirect communication being displayed by this little girl at such a young age (11) is a natural pattern for many women of all ages and is totally misunderstood by men and their sons as you can see by her brothers’ reaction.
Men are acting on what she says not on what she means, women who communicate this way are unaware the men are not seeing the meaning and this causes the upset because she thinks he didn’t care like this little girl.
The seed of discontentment is sown
Misunderstanding her words is, on one hand, understandable but like so many relationships that fall into this trap, it causes a lot of upset as it leads to feelings of confusion, loss of care, disconnection, and frustration.
Many people just get frustrated and move on from these situations, but that moment would have created a powerful feeling for that little girl.
She is left with a question, can she trust others to be there for her or will she have to rely on herself throughout her life?
She will now be on the lookout for proof…
Feeling alone is where many women end up, and so many men cannot understand what’s just happened and why.
Understanding how the sexes communicate differently and why is critical or you will end up constantly on different pages.