• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Home
  • Private Coaching
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
    • Couples Coaching
    • Individual Coaching
    • FAQs
  • About
  • Success
  • Initial Consultation
  • Blog

Why Couples Fail to Communicate

Communication breakdown is high on the list of why couples break up. If you don’t feel understood by your partner then you won’t feel heard. If your partner can’t understand what you need, your needs will not be met.

If your needs are not met you won’t be happy this can lead to break up. So please communicate effectively, it’s so critical. I have put together some basics below to help you.

What is important when communicating

The most critical part is listening AND, listening and understanding your partners intention behind his, or her words.

What couples tend to do, is put their own meanings on their partner words and then make their partners responsible for this new translation. You will hear couple who fight saying… “that’s not what I said” or “that’s not what I meant”.

It’s so frustration when anyone does this and you feel your being made out to be the bad guy.

Communication Rules

  • Never assume your partners intention is to try to hurt you.
  • Never make your partner wrong.
  • If you don’t understand your partners words ask for the underling intent.
  • If your partner is communicating they are wanting their needs met, discover which ones.
  • Men: If your partner wants to talk, just listen, more than that, look her in the eyes and listen so she knows you are present. Whatever she is feeling she wants to share that with you. You may want to fix her problem, don’t unless she asks.
  • Women: Men will usually have an attention span of about 10 minutes, especially if he has nothing to fix, any longer will frustrate him. One of the reasons he struggles is he is looking for a point to the conversation so he can fix the problem. Women don’t communicate this way so he gets lost in all her words and fears he will fail her.
  • Men: If she gets upset what’s important is not the words, whats important is how she feels. If she is upset she feels pain, so help her with her pain. Don’t get hurt by her words, she wants love and understanding, that why she upset.
  • If your man is quiet he is having a wonderful time!
  • If your woman is quiet there is a problem!
  • The key is understanding how each other works. Men’s communication is very direct, a womans is indirect. If the window is open and the temperature is dropping, she might say… “it’s getting cold in here!” and man would say ” It’s cold please close the window” To a woman her words are obvious, to a man it’s not 100% clear.

Another story I share with my clients is one I heard, but can’t remember where from…

A couple are on a motorway and he is driving. She spots a sign that says “motorway services quarter of a mile” she turns to him and says, “are you hungry darling” he smiles back to her and says “NO!” and drives past the motorway services.

He can’t understand then why she has become volcanic and he’s a selfish @*?”$^… You get the picture!

I hope this helps a little, happy chatting….

Category iconUncategorized

"FREE Call with Harley Street Marriage in Crisis Expert Stephen Hedger"

"In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress."

Get Started Now!

Recent Posts

  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post
  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

 

Categories

  • A thought for Sunday
  • Communication
  • Destructive Patterns
  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
  • Loss of passion
  • Marriage Coaching
  • Personal Development
  • Rebuilding trust
  • Relationship Stories
  • Retirement Crisis
  • Save Marriage Alone
  • Separation & Divorce
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Testimonials
  • Top 10 Popular Posts
  • Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Free Blog Subscription

Join over 30,000 subscribers who have looked for insights into intimate relationships why they work and why they don't. Weekly posts join now.....

Popular Posts

  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

Footer

Sessions currently held over Zoom

If you are interested in Stephens help please call his team on

+44 (0)845 519 4808


Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post
  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply FOR HELP NOW

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2022 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top