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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Your partner is not like you – At all!

One of the biggest mistakes I see people in relationships make is they don’t take the time to really understand their partner.

Many are under the illusion their partner is like them, but they couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s true many people get together through shared values, but keeping connected to those values is going to be a struggle if you don’t know how to translate your partners’ words and behaviours correctly.

In essence, I see great people who have turned perfectly good marriages into ones no one would want to be in.

They do this because they don’t have the skills and tools to connect to each other when it really matters, so they live disconnected. 

This can result in stacked resentments and self-protection the perfect formula to help someone fall temporarily out of love.

Keep practising those behaviours and temporary could end up being permanent.

I spend a good percentage of my time helping couples learn how to interpret each other’s words and behaviours so they can get on the same page.

There are some generic behaviours that most men and most women naturally create and there are behaviours that are specific to the individuals and the patterns they created from their childhood through all their life challenges.

Sadly most people are far too reactive with each other, so a loving, kind, generous person can change into being judgmental or controlling or aggressive or defensive.

Instead of two adults behaving like two 5-year-olds calling each other names in a playground, what if they took a step back and learnt how to ask better questions about the situation you are in.

The problem with conflict in couples it’s deep-rooted to some primary fears that most people want to avoid so they can be easily triggered.

The key is to understand the significant differences in what a man and a woman are trying to achieve in a conflict situation because their needs are very different.

One example: A man could bring logic as a means to fix his partners upset. If he does this, why does she become even more upset?

So he can’t use logic, so he tries anger or frustration; he then tries ignoring her or escaping physically. He’s running out of ideas what can he do to fix the problem?

To fix it, he has to understand what she is really experiencing and needing to be able to solve what for him is an impossible riddle.

There are also significant differences in the needs of men and women in simple day-to-day communication get it wrong, and this results in even more disconnection.

Example: She’s trying to talk to him, and she watches as he glazes over, what’s she trying to achieve and why does he really behave this way, is he really rude or disinterested in her?

There are also many different way people experience love and connection.

Keeping the passion alive is challenging for many couples.

There are significant differences in how men and women get to wanting a sexual connection with each other. This process is critical to know if you want a healthy sexual connection for life.

It’s critical to know what drives your partner and be a part of helping them to connect to that driver.

This topic is massive, and this post only touches on a fraction of why so many couples are struggling.

The mission is to get couples on the same page so they can build a secure passionate life-long connection together.

If you are struggling, then please know it’s normal to struggle.

Couples fall in and out of love all the time.

Nature never intended a man and a woman to live in a box together for life so please know your struggle is not necessarily a sign you’re incompatible it’s just a sign there is more to know and new skills to develop for those that value their relationship and how to be more effective in it.

 

 

 

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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