Marriage reconciliation: Can a marriage with years of problems be saved?

Marriage Reconciliation is it possible really?  Well those that have been reading my posts for a while now will know my answer. Why? Because I see it every day in my practice.

BUT today I’m going to share with you how it’s actually possible, why do my clients create a shift that changes their marriage from a total belief it’s NOT possible to solve their marriage problems to creating a connected passion that’s deeper than they have ever experienced.

How do we do this?

The starting point is to hold the individuals to a higher standard and change their habitual focus.

So what do I mean?

Individuals coming for help are usually in poor states emotionally. They are a shadow of who they really are and so what they say they value is not reflected in how they behave with their partner.

Just this action alone is destructive to themselves, because it creates an inner conflict for that person and inner conflicts creates poor emotional states.

Poor emotional states creates poor, or out of character behaviors.

So imagine this, if your emotional state is poor, what’s your focus going to be like for your partner who doesn’t understand your needs? For many it’s very negative. In this place we can search for what’s wrong in our relationship and our minds are so obedient we find not just some stuff, we find truck loads.

With this negative focus on our partners lack of giving what we want, we start to see them as someone we can’t trust to love us in the way we want to be loved. In response we pull our love away.

When we focus this way we kill our own love for our partners without knowing. This is where individuals feel detached, but don’t really know why.

You see the starting point of any marriage reconciliation is helping both people rediscover who they are by creating behaviors that align them with their true essence. Compound that with a shift of their habitual negative patterns, by changing their focus away from what their not getting to how they can add value to their marriage.

This focus on how they can actually add value to their partner helps them to focus on either what they didn’t know, or have not been doing. This helps them to take responsibility for being part of the problem.

This simple act aligns their values with their needs and gives them control to add value where it matters. This reduces the need for certainty which is what the couples lost and opens the door to reclaiming their passion for each other.

Want to find out how we can help your marriage contact us today.

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About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.