The internal fight within us breaks relationships we actually want to keep

I agree that many of you may find some of what I teach to build successful relationships goes against the grain of what you have believed and have been taught historically.

Putting your partner first, not making them wrong, giving love unconditionally can seem impossible but….

…is the challenge you face to protect what you have always done, or is it to discover new ways grow the passion back into your relationship?

  • Understanding your personal battle with yourself is as important as discovering why the relationship is not working.

Is it possible that if what you had always done and what you learnt historically had worked you wouldn’t be searching for help and your relationship would be wonderful today?

Many people have the power to save their relationship but through fear they hold back

Do you realise how powerful it is to give our love to those we say we love, and our ability to give our love no matter what actually costs us so little, but means so much?

The cost of not giving our love and holding back is so much more expensive, because to do that we have to change ourselves. Changing how we behave is a powerful action especially when that action causes us internal pain. Pulling our love away from those we really care about is not who we are, it becomes us when our fears takes over.

I am aware of how difficult this is to understand and put into practice, but with a new understanding of the intent and motivation behind your partner actions will help you start to understand their behaviours differently.

Again I agree that the giving of unconditional love is a concept many fear, they want it, but giving it creates too much fear, too much exposure, but this means the relationship is out of balance and so are those that hold back their gifts of love as a weapon or means of punishment.

So now the foundation of the relationship is based on fear, revenge and resentment rather than love, so it will always be heading for problems or worse.

I don’t expect my clients to understand this before they visit me I just ask them to be open to understanding that what they have done together has not worked and be open to learn why.

Shall we do that now?

  • Shall we uncover what you have practiced together that equals so much pain between two people who once loved each other.
  • Shall we explore some simple changes that could change your perception of your relationship?
  • Shall we get to the truth once and for all?
About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. You have made some very valid points there Stephen. I think that when we face up to problems in a relationship there are some very different ways of doing it.
    I have always been one for running away from problems like this but I recently realised that it wasn’t doing me any good. No matter how fast I run I always seem to end up back in the same spot where I started from, just with a different partner suffering on my behalf.
    I will defnitely try and take you pooints into account the next time and see whether I can break this cycle and finally be the partner I have always wanted to be