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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“10 reasons why couples don’t make it”

There are now well over 800 pages in this website helping any reader to become curious about their relationship why they work and why they fail. People from all over the world are now attending meetings with me to gain solutions to seemingly impossible marital problems.

In today’s post, I’m going to be sharing some key thinking that helps couples to keep their relationship alive with some thoughts on the cost of not applying these to a marriage.

1. Never assume your partner is trying to hurt you

2. Never make your partner wrong

3. Never threaten the end of the relationship (unless you really mean it!)

4. Never pull your love away

5. Never make your relationship all about YOU!

6. Always make your partner feel No1 in your life

7. Always make your partners needs your needs too

8. Always look for ways to help your partner feel great about themselves

9. Always make unconditional love your priority (it will cost you if you don’t)

10. Always make time for your relationship every day

Let’s look at these thoughts in more detail…

1. Never assume your partner is trying to hurt you – My clients are helped to really understand why their partner is behaving in a particular way so they are empowered to understand and support them rather than judge and protect themselves from their partners actions.

Note: Relationships die when I have to stop loving you and start protecting me from you.

2. Never make your partner wrong. – If you make your partner wrong you are telling your partner you are qualified to be their judge. All this will create is resistance and resentment.

3. Never threaten the end of the relationship –  When someone threatens the end of the relationship it makes the possibility real in both peoples minds and they will naturally move to protect themselves and make new plans.

4. Never pull your love away – If you pull your love away it won’t have a positive effect on either person and it won’t protect you. People that pull their love away end up feeling unhappy and exhausted and disconnected from their true selves.

5. Never make your relationship about you – People that take from relationships and don’t give to their partner in a meaningful way unusually don’t end up with very much. So it’s critical to make your partner and your relationship the centre of your world.

6. Always make your partner feel No1 in your life – Across the board, if anything becomes a bigger priority over an intimate partner in their mind this will cause a significant issue. This can be from work to hobbies from the girl in the office to the mother in law. It’s critical to help your partner feel in their mind they are No1 to you.

7. Always make your partner needs your needs too. – One of the biggest causes of marital break down is needs not being met. This means understanding your partner needs and making them important to you is critical to learn for them to feel happy when they are with you. Needs not being met can create resentments and a gravity towards getting their needs met elsewhere.

8. Always look for ways to help your partner feel great about themselves. – Basic attachment in couples is simply based on how we feel about ourselves when we are with our partner. If we feel good we want to spend more time with them. If we feel bad about ourselves when we are with our partner we don’t. This means we must learn how our partner experience the world so we can be a support rather than an irritant.

9. Always make unconditional love your priority. – Most couples reserve this for children and see unconditional love as risky with someone that can hurt them. So they hold back their love and the relationship suffers as the couple mirror each other and watch the marriage die a little every day.

10. Always make time for your relationship every day – Your relationship needs feeding every day. So many couples are missing the really small things they can do every day that not only keep the love alive but keep the passion alive too.

When relationships are explored correctly what couples will find is they are really learning common sense thinking, but sadly common sense isn’t really that common which is why so many people get into trouble with thinking that simply makes a bad situation worse.

I see so many people that could have divorced so easily but with new thinking and a fresh approach, this understanding helped them to see that divorce wasn’t the right solution for them.

They pressed the reset button and rebuilt their relationship to bring the best out of each other for the first time.

 

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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