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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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#699: All Roads Lead to Rome: Divorce Prevention

If you want to save your marriage, or simply keep it safe from problems then please take a few moments to absorb a fundamental life skill you are going to need.

People who decide that leaving the relationship is a good idea are doing so because they reach what they feel is a dead end. For many this dead end feeling can lead them to take actions they might regret so it’s important to help them if you can.

This is where they can land…

  • The future as a couple disappears for them.
  • They feel if they stay in the relationship they cannot not be themselves.
  • They are no longer sexually attracted to their partner.
  • They feel the love has gone.
  • They feel emotionally numb to their partner.
  • They feel they have to protect themselves from their partner.
  • The trust has died.
  • They feel the relationship would never change so they are not emotionally safe.
  • They feel their partner doesn’t understand them, or wants to.
  • They have a connection with someone new and that future looks more exciting.

So what causes these kind of reactions in a partner? Why do a people that once professed enough love and commitment to marry then decides in their droves to end the relationship they once loved?

Are couples really getting it wrong, or is there a hidden problem very few are seeing?

One obvious challenge is couples are unaware that without knowing they could be helping their partner towards these feelings only to find… out of the blue they are in the battle of their lives.

By seeing so many couples in crisis it’s not difficult to see the real problem.

The big challenge every couple is fighting is a foundational fear, a fear that’s powerful enough to help them disconnect from their partner and meet their needs elsewhere without them knowing.

All couples must at all costs help each other to avoid feeling this foundational fear that is plaguing all relationships.

This foundational fear is the a fundamental driver behind a powerful force all couples face.

I’ll explain…

When couples first meet, their need for security is usually low and their need for passion is high.

Fast forward a few years after letting them experience a few problems and the foundational fear will have started to bubbled up and will driving a core need.

Now the desire in one or both people has changed from needing passion to needing security. The need for passion has now been dwarfed by a need for security.

For relationships this shift is a game changer as it kills the free energies that make the relationship work.

Energies such as love, passion, fun, joy, humour, adventure all the energies that help couples to feel attracted to each other are in danger the moment one or both people are focused on self protection.

Every couple on some level is going to enter this battle at some point. The battle is between the foundational fear and the need to reconnect.

The problem is in the way that males and females try to connect with each other. They think very different so they totally miss each others cry for help/connection and instead create a greater need within themselves to protect themselves from their partner as they keep misunderstanding each other.

The more they try to connect the more they are starting to experience their disconnect this ignites the foundational fear even more.

If practiced for too long the need for security starts to become permanent. One person will now go on a journey to emotionally disconnect to numb the pain, others will simply become stressed, depressed or anxious.

This leads the couple further into a zone where attraction is almost impossible to maintain.

So they feel disconnected, misunderstood and uncared for. Add in loss of attraction and no future to look forward to and the outcome is not going to look great at all.

So if you wish to keep a relationship healthy, or you want to save a marriage from divorce then you must learn the powerful forces that plague relationships and most importantly yours.

You must learn how your partner connects to those negative forces and how you can help them avoid connecting to those foundational fears and then help them connect to pleasurable experiences.

If you become the creator of their pleasure they will then attach that pleasure to you, this is what you are after. But to be successful their are critical steps.

I do hope you have heard todays message as it’s so key to understand. The next step is to take action to learn how to do this.

Men and women don’t understand each other and are making life changing decisions based on confusion, misunderstandings and fear.

  • If you are in crisis please contact us to either enrol in the Marriage Breakthrough Program.
    Or
  • If you are not in crisis, but want to learn how to protect your relationship then contact us for a new six week Divorce Prevention Program I’m launching for couples in the new year.If you are interested in The Divorce Prevention Program please let us know as spaces will be limited.
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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