With the majority of couples using trial and error as their strategy for relationship success, is it little wonder why couples have so many problems that end in divorce.
Relationships are probably one of the most important parts of our lives and yet receive so little formal education/attention as we grow up.
How can any of us be expected to understand our relationships if we are never shown how.
Schools, parents, governments, us? Who is responsible for helping us and at what point would that help be most effective and what sort of help would be most effective?
Most of our parents are just as lost as we are, but like it or not we model our parents way of creating our relationships because it the only reference we really have.
The only time people really search to find out more about their relationships is when things are going seriously wrong. Even then they wait far too long before seeking the help they needed years before.
There seems to be a lot of stigma in seeking help, but more than that, there is massive lack of confidence that it will actually work?
One of the question I am asked is how much does my help cost. The reason I am asked this is because society on the whole sees getting relationship help as a massive financial and emotional gamble.
To be honest I can see why, I receive so many people who have experienced relationship help in other forms and have seen little to no results.
One lady seeking my help had been seeing her therapist for a massive 10 years. The therapist clearly had no idea that she had become part of the problem she had promised to help.
One gentleman had been seeing his counsellor for 2 years. Whilst he said he felt better, his real problems were still there, and so he wanted a different approach from me. 5 weeks later he was seeing a massive difference.
One of the many reasons why I decided to do this kind of work was because in my twenties I was appauled at the support my relationship had received by a couples counsellor. She basically charged us £40.00 to argue in her house. Her support actually accelerated our break-up.
Unless you understand how relationships really work and how to get the best out of each other, then how can you be sure that you will not become a statistic.
Education is the key: I believe that all couples need education…
This is the key factor I use in the work I do with couples. This education gives people the tools and the confidence to communicate what they really need.
- I help people understand why their relationships failed so they don’t repeat the same pattern in their next relationship.
- I helps couple pre marriage understand what has to happen to keep their love and passion for each other alive.
- I help couples in crisis understand what is really going on in their relationships.
Education stops the trial error strategy that’s designed for disaster.
We do not have all the knowledge we need to understand our relationships and so whatever your beliefs are today are you sure that what you think you know will actually work.
Plus it’s much better fun understanding yourself and each other long before you really need crisis help.