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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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He was losing his marriage and felt powerless to fix it…

I was on the phone to this gentleman last week, he had been going to see a marriage counsellor for a few months about a severe marriage problem and he was concerned that they were not making the progress he expected and was going to lose his marriage. 

He had come across my service online saw it was very different and wanted to have an initial call with me to understand how my offer worked in more detail.

Before I answered his question I wanted to see if I could help him understand why they were in trouble.

So I asked him what problem they were facing. What he told me I had heard many times before.

He said they had been married for 20 years and his wife had told him out of the blue she was not in love with him. She said he was a good father and a nice person, but the love and attraction was no longer there for her.

What struck me as important was even through a big part of her wanted to escape the relationship, another part was hoping that the relationship could be fixed and their children would not be affected.

I started to explained why she had gone through this detachment process and what had to happen to correct it, as I was talking I noticed the phone had gone silent.

Upset at the other end and frustrated he blurted “Why is this knowledge not mainstream?”

He was right to be upset, that’s exactly how I felt when I discovered this. You see what I said to him should be mainstream knowledge, however even though he now knew the real problem he didn’t have the skills to solve it, so he would now have to be taught.

He then told me the way I had explained it was exactly what his partner had been saying but he had missed her core message. The challenge for all men is how to listen to what’s really important for her.

The way I explained her problem to him was in a way a man could understand, this way he could connect with the possibility of fixing it, now their situation had a path to a solution.

You see even though she had told him what was going on for her, he was never going to connect with the magnitude of her problem, he had no frame work he could connect to. You see he was trying to connect to her problem from the perspective of a man. He needed to learn a female perspective before he could solve her problem.

He said he had no idea how bad the problem was and was so sorry she had gone through this. I told him he was not alone, many men come in metaphorically holding divorce papers not really understanding why they have them, much to the dismay of their wives.

My message today is this. We are not taught critical information growing up about the significant differences between men and women and this affects intimate relationships dramatically. More specifically we are not given the skills needed to understand each other. One of the casualties is that individuals can detach from their relationship because they assume their partner just doesn’t care.

There are many roads to this assumption, but the key is to understand it is an assumption. You see it’s totally possible to reconnect to seemingly dead feelings once the couple learn how to connect to each others most critical needs.

This does however require a shift of perspective, you see the moment you can see the world from your partners perspective and what they really need that’s the moment they can feel you actual do care.

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"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

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Recent Posts

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
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  • About
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  • FAQs
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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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