I have many couples and individuals come to me when life doesn’t feel how they had hoped. They share with me feelings of not being themselves, disconnected in some way.
From this place everything seems worse, they create a fear that life may not be the same again, this serves to create more fear.
This fear is normal within individuals no matter what situation they find themselves in. From victims of affairs, to those on the receiving end of a break-up all feel that fear, but in any relationship situation that does not feel right, that fear can feel very real and scary.
Those that find themselves in this place are usually after two key things, they want to feel “significant” and they want to feel “secure”.
When those two needs become the driving force individuals, will create all manner of behaviours to help themselves feel important and secure, but never really achieving it in a way that helps them to feel good.
If you are in a situation where for you life is not how it should be, what behaviours are you creating that fulfill your need for significance and certainty. There will be lots if you think about it, if you can’t find any, start to live conciously notice what you do and watch them appear.
Is the result fulfilling and growth orientated for you if it’s not then maybe it’s time to change.
The question is change to what?
The faster anyone makes “love” their goal for life, including loving themselves, the faster the world will give you the happiness you truly deserve.
Holding back on love will only hurt you and those you care about. If you want to reconnect with who you really are then it is critical you give what you say is important to everyone including yourself.
After all, whenever has holding back on love, or pulling love away, created more love? Yes never!