Who knew there is a well-defined path couples will follow from their first meeting and falling in love to ending up divorced!
In fact, many couples are far closer to divorce than they are aware, yet they don’t see the progression towards the tipping point of no return.
This is a sobering thought, but thankfully understanding this can help us reverse the direction back to reigniting connection and attraction.
Today’s post is about a peek inside the first step I take to help a couple out of their crisis, it’s a step that should never be ignored.
It’s one of the tools I use to build a success strategy to help couples out of crisis.
My approach to helping these couples is dependent on how they have progressed along this path.
The more progressed they are, the more help they need.
In essence, you have to understand where the couple is today which is their hell and create a path to their heaven which is where they would like to be.
Understanding where they are today is critical; those who don’t understand this point always get lost.
Getting this wrong is a bit like trying to get from London to New York, but you are unaware you are in Paris. Imagine how lost that person would be!
I see couples taking action without understanding this with terrible consequences.
So, where you start from changes the strategy.
What you apply will change based on what each person is emotionally receptive to which is based on where they are on this path.
You have to meet the person where they are emotionally to start.
Not understanding this is a big problem.
I see individuals taking action to fix their marriage based on where they are emotionally not where their partner is and this can collapse their connection in seconds.
This mistake keeps edging them closer to the tipping point.
How many people are unaware of this path and where their marriage is on that path?
To make matter worse what if one person is further along that path and their partner doesn’t know?
How important would this information be to a couple who have been struggling for a while?
How important would it be to the type of help they seek?
You see when I’m assessing a couple I’m looking at how I approach their situation, what is the starting point for that couple?
I know the wrong approach will stress the couple at a time when they need help out of their stress, not more of it.
So I’m looking at where each person is on this path because that answer will dramatically change my strategy, and if you are doing this yourself, it should change yours too.
I hope you are seeing the start of how a couple’s problem is approached is critical to maximising their success.