Do you have a relationship you want to keep? Are you stuck not sure what to do? Do you feel that no matter what you do it seems to keep failing?
If this is you then understanding the steps to getting the relationship back on track are critical.
If any relationship has suffered problems the challenge the couple now face is A LACK OF TRUST! Trust that the relationship will not be the way they need it to be, for them to be happy.
Rebuilding the trust is the first step in my sessions with couples.
To be successful your thoughts have to go to the points of conflict where the couple have failed with each other and ignited fears for the future.
- The question is this… At the point of conflict what does my partner really need?
Usually in conflict situations and even the ones she has started, what the female needs is to be loved and understood, what the male needs is the ability to fix her problem. If he doesn’t know how to deal with the conflict he might become really angry, through frustration, or he might shut-down or escape in some way hoping the problem will just go away.
None of this works and just adds more fuel to the fire.
All of these behaviours are the reverse of what’s needed and bit-by-bit the relationship dies. She can feel that he has no desire to understand her, and he can feel she can never be pleased.
None of this is true of course, but without relationship training the couple react the only way they know how. Fight and protect themselves.
Understanding this process is one of the keys to my success with couples.
If the male can meet his needs in the process of meeting the females’ specific needs at the point of conflict then he can feel successful again in the relationship and she will feel loved and heard.
Both people following this process will start to feel connected again with themselves and each other.
Once the trust has been rebuilt, only then can the couple can work on meeting each others needs.
- If you wish to know more about how to do this please make contact today click here