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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“You only get one life!”

Many years ago I was told the story of “The Boiled Frog” you may have heard it.

It’s the kind of story that can start to wake a person up to rediscover their life their happiness and what to them equals personal fulfillment.

Here is the story, let’s see what you do with it.

If a frog was put into a pan of cold water and that pan was brought to the boil, the frog would just sit in the pan and slowly die.

But if you dropped the frog into the water, but this time it was boiling hot it would immediately jump out rejecting this hostile environment.

I know some of you will have heard that story before, but the message is important to stay connected to.

When life becomes slowly uncomfortable people don’t notice the situation they are in.

It’s a situation that years before they would have rejected in a heartbeat.

Far too many people are accepting a bad situation because they simply don’t know what to do.

So they stay stuck settling for what’s familiar even if that doesn’t make them happy, many live the rest of their lives this way.

I see this pattern in people who are settling with very unhappy lives together.

Better the devil you know so to speak!

One gentleman was describing his marriage he said “it’s been a good day today we haven’t argued once.”

It is an interesting benchmark for a successful day, but I know many people feel this way as they try their best to feast on the few crumbs on the table.

I’m obviously not advocating that every unhappy person should leave their partner and find a better life because with a little know-how and some courage many cases could dramatically improve their situation.

What I am doing today is posing an important question.

Should a person settle in their unhappy marriage or life?

Or should they discover if they can find a way to make their life and their relationship make sense again?

I know that many don’t want to rock the boat, what if we find out we are not suited after all?

My message is you only get one life – Do you live your life knowing you are unhappy and accept that?

Or do you give yourself and your partner the chance of happiness understanding that could go either way but happiness no matter what is the objective?

Remember the goal is to find what you are both looking for in your life so you can both be yourselves again.

Experience tells me two people escalating each other’s misery over the years just because it’s familiar is likely to reach a tipping point even if the couple does nothing.

If you ever have a conversation with me I’m likely to tell you…

  • Your disconnection is normal.
  • Your inability to be on the same page is normal
  • Your lack of connection is normal
  • Your loss of love based on your disconnect is normal
  • Your loss of passion is normal

I will tell you men and women simply do not understand each other especially emotionally and this creates such a painful gap in their connection, unhappiness is never going to be far away.

Remember I have personally sat with 1000s of couples over the years and not one understood each other.

So instead of seeing your problems as a sign of incompatibility see them as a simple sign that changes are required.

I’m not saying that everyone should stay together.

What I’m saying is because all these disconnects are present in so many relationships around the world and in every culture, the disconnects are very common.

So should couples explore what they are capable of so a life-changing mistake doesn’t become a crippling regret?

Or should couples wake up and ensure they get the life they were meant to live, remember you only get one life.

Now you can see what the courage is for.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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